Have you ever made one too many promises to different people? What about feeling obligated to do something for one of your friends because you would feel bad for saying “no”? These past few weeks I’ve been crazy busy with work but also feeling overwhelmed with tasks I promised to other people. Sometimes, I feel obligated to say yes to every person that needs my help. I always thought it was because I loved helping people (which I do), but now I realize it’s part of a deeper issue: not honoring myself and my time.
If you’ve ever dealt with the same issues, take a look at 5 effective tips to establish boundaries with people:
- Examine your priorities. It’s not that you don’t want to help other people, it’s that your priorities need to be taken care of first. Honoring your time requires you to examine what’s most important to you right now. Unless a friend or family member is an emergency, take care of the obligations to yourself first.
- Be honest with yourself and stop over-committing. It’s time to keep it real with yourself. Be honest about your plans for the day, week, or month. Don’t commit to something you know you won’t have time for.
- Learn the power of a high-quality “No”. I have the hardest time saying “No” to people. I feel like I’m letting them down if I can’t help them. But that’s a personal construct that needs to be broken down. We can’t help everyone with everything. Learning when and how to say “No” is an important step to honoring your time and establishing boundaries with people. An example of a high-quality “No” could be something like “No, I won’t be able to do that” or “Unfortunately, I don’t have the time in my schedule right now”.
- Don’t allow people to pressure you into doing something. This ties in with the previous tip. It’s not ok for someone to impose their schedule on you. Kindly express your thoughts, and keep it moving. If they’re any kind of a person, they’ll understand and respect you for being honest.
- But! Some people will be pissed off at you. Be prepared. If you’ve been a “Yes” person your whole life, saying “No” to your friends and family will be surprising and maybe even upsetting. You may at first feel a bit obligatory to help, but remember that your time is just as important as theirs.
Take a deep breath and feel confident in the boundaries you establish for yourself and with other people. Remember, it’s Ok to say no when you can’t help someone. When you set up comfortable boundaries for yourself and with other people, you are learning to respect yourself and your time. That’s always a beautiful thing!
What kind of experiences have you had with over-committing to someone? Leave your comments below!
About Courtney Cherae
I am the founder of HolisticEbony.com and also a Holistic Health Coach. I work with women who struggle with emotional eating, self-sabotage roadblocks, and body image issues and empower them to love themselves more, no matter what stage they’re at in their process. I believe that through nutrition, self-love, and healthy relationships, every woman can live to their fullest potential! Have you ever gotten in the way of your health goals? I would love to hear your story! Send your experiences to firstname.lastname@example.org and together we can empower each other to live beautiful, inspired lives!
For tips on health, self-care, and more, please join my mailing list!