Out of the Shadows: 4 Ways to Start Loving Your Life Again!

By: The writer of this article chose to remain anonymous

black-women-retreat-seminar-conferenceBelieve me, I know how you feel. You’re bored with your life, and you’re tired of trying, because every attempt to make it better either fizzles out or fails altogether. You’re tired and listless, mostly mentally, maybe physically too. If you had a spiritual practice in the past, it’s become irregular or you’ve quit it altogether. You don’t give a shit about work, or you’re screwing it up left and right. You’re late all the time. Sometimes you wonder if you’re lazy, inept, or just bad luck. So much so, that even while you watch your problems build up all around you – bills piling up, relationships falling away, passion projects? HA – all you can do is drown yourself in distraction. Too many drugs, too much to drink, it doesn’t matter…you pick your poison, and fall back into a big, fluffy cloud of oblivion.

Oblivion, because you don’t want to know, but you do. You know that you’ve lost It, whatever the heck It is. It feels like you’ve lost your passion, your purpose in life. And as much of a screwed-up you may feel, all you want to do is get those things back. You want to function and be a normal adult again….you want to feel like yourself again. Here’s how I did it.

      1. Find people with passion.

Before I experienced my own loss of purpose, spirituality and holistic nutrition were two of my main hobbies. I even had a string of YouTube subscriptions to people who’d dedicated their lives to talking and teaching about these topics. During a dark period, I found sparks of inspiration by watching and listening to people like them, people who felt the excitement for life that I was missing. Their enthusiasm turned out to be quite infectious – and eventually, motivational.

      2. Hang out with kids.

Children are often naturally upbeat and energetic; spending time around them makes it difficult to stay in your own black hole, even if you want to. Go visit your niece, or play with your little cousins at the next family get-together. Their positivity may just rub off on you.

       3. Paint your nails.

It sounds silly, but sometimes adding a little color to your life can help bring you back from a slump, even if only temporarily. Maybe you’ve got some artwork that a young family member made for you, or that a friend gifted you; hang it on your wall or refrigerator, someplace where you’ll see it often.

      4. Talk to someone about it.

Loss of interest in activities that used to bring you joy can be a sign of depression. If you think you may be depressed, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. If you can’t do that, then tell someone you know will respect your feelings and not ridicule or dismiss them. Admitting you have a problem and seeking professional help does not make you a bad or weak person; if anything, it’s a sign of strength and honesty.

All it took was one. I got unexpectedly inspired, and the rest followed; my renewed interest in life began to grow. I didn’t go from zero to sixty overnight; I still struggle with feelings of futility and hopelessness, with a lack of motivation. The good news is, we don’t have to do this overnight – and every step forward, every small accomplishment, is something to be proud of.

Have you ever struggled with feelings like these? How did you move past them?

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